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Pubs are a wonderful invention, they sell you alcohol, a thing that helps you to get drunk and forget all of your troubles. There is always a friendly barman around who will listen to all of your problems, and in some cases help you solve them. It is a wonder of this modern world that the simple tradition of getting drunk has been kept up and that people are able to drink themselves stupid (or stupider).

Pubs are usually full of friendly people, who are in there to drink alcohol and meet other people, in a quiet, smoke free, environment. All of the women who go into pubs are usually single and looking for partners, quite often just for the night, some of them are only looking for a meaningful overnight relationship, something which we should all aspire to.

If when in a pub the alcohol does not seem to be having the usual effect, then do not think that the alcohol you consume, on a regular basis, has reduced the effectiveness of it on your system. Instead, question loudly, as to whether the beer has been watered down at all. Most landlords will recognise this as a sign that they have been reducing the strength of their ales too much, and give you a free drink for pointing out the error of their ways.

If perchance, the landlord takes offence, trying to throw you out, then admonish him loudly, telling him to 'unhand you', this will bring the blaggard back to his senses, and your free drink will be awaiting you as it should be. The University of life is happy to point out these handy little tips, which will be of assistance to you, our students, throughout the whole of the world.

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