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Renting On Campus
Accommodation



Renting On Campus
Building
The University of Life has many types of available accommodation, ranging from absolute slums, which are really quite cheap, all the way through to palaces fit for kings and queens.
Some are furnished with broken furniture and windows, nothing working and neither are the occupants, these are referred to as broken homes. The better quality accommodation has light, heat and running water, some of which you can even drink!

Prices vary, but with bribes paid to the right people, we can make sure you are housed safely and securely close to the University itself. Our housing officers are fully open to bribery, and this will help you learn further lessons on greasing the right palms as you progress further through the University of Life. Also remember that if you improve the place you are renting, with furniture, decorating, cleaning and anything else needed to make the place habitable, then the landlord can charge you more rent as the work you have done will have been for thier benifit.
Accommodation
Accommodation

Renting Off Campus
Why move out of the student halls, they are full of your mates, and everything is done for you, but if you have some things you need to do in private, then moving out is probably the best thing for you, as our cameras record absolutely everything.

Lots of landlords will look like Rigsby from rising damp, though some may not be as nice as he was. You are obliged to decorate the rooms with bits and pieces, like a skeleton, broken guitar, coloured light bulbs, broken furniture of different colours, giant sofas with stuffing coming out, bean bags etc. Basically anything you find in or near a skip, will have been already prepared for what lies in store for it.

Renting Off CampusYou may now find that the things you really liked at home are now gone.
Simple things like;
Clean carpets your feet don't stick to
Food in the cupboards and fridge
No funny smell in the room all of the time
Clear running water from the taps

Most Universities have offices which can give you lists of places to stay in your area, the University of Life however, has decided that these things can be best done by yourself, and suggest that you go out there and find digs for yourself. After all they have provided accommodation in their halls for you and if you are ungrateful enough, not to want to stay there, then basically they say 'sod you'.


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